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Wednesday, January 16th, 2008
7:52 pm - New to this group, thanks for having it ...some thoughts....

I am feeling rather grumpy and I hope that you all don't mind if I vent a bit here. I also need all the new friends I can get. I'm 43. Please read my profile if you're interested in learning more about my life.

Is it just me, or are the younger people with their 'hipster attitude' and clothes, tattoos and piercings really obnoxious? Am I turning into my father--good God, I hope not! I keep thinking about the people I see who are in their late teens and early twenties who have a large number of Tats. How are they going to feel in 20-30-40 years when the skin sags and droops and those cool groovy tats they got when they were in college look like crap?

I recently saw an article about the booming tattoo removal businesses. All that ink is often a bitch to take off once it's there. Especially the dark colors. Ok, can you tell that I don't have any tats? HA HA! I must be getting old or something. Piercings will probably heal up over time, but ink is pretty hard to remove.

Some people now have trouble dealing with having tats on their arms, necks and legs in corporate America. It's got to be awful to get a job where you have to dress up daily and try and hide those tats in very visible places. Lots of employers don't like that sort of thing. At least piercings on the face can be removed and then put back on after work.

Ok, if you are over 40 and are into body art and piercings, you'll probably give me crap for posting this, but it's just a subject that has been bugging me lately. I have seen WW2 Vets whose tats look like crap and are barely visible with their wrinkled skin.

I keep thinking that it'll be the same in 40 years for the younger folk now.

I have to laugh.


Thanks for a nice group for us OLD FARTS!

current mood: bitchy

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Friday, November 3rd, 2006
2:53 pm - Questionnaire

I'm sorry to inform you that i'll only be staying for a while, but since lj is the best way for me to reach as many people as possible, i'm sometimes using it for research for my studies.

i kindly ask you to fill this questionnaire out for one of my most important projects this year. thank you.

questionnaire this way

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Saturday, July 23rd, 2005
9:50 am - Dating, Mating and Relating......

So I am 42 years old. No, wait, it changed.... I am 43 years old now. I don't consider this "old" by any stretch of the imagination - I have good friends in their *70s* whom I don't consider "old" even. My activity level is similar to what it was when I was 20-25 even. My choices and preferences are similar to what they were when 20-25 (although I do like to think they have developed just a bit more *depth* since then). The things I like to do for fun remain pretty similar (although I do tend to be more solitary and comfortable with that than 20 years ago). Even my clothing tastes are somewhat the same - again, maybe a bit more depth and knowledge of quality, but similar, definitely similar.

The problem: Clearly my tastes in men have remained similar too. A young barely 30-something, buff, strong, virile, member of the male species visited my dreams last night. As often occurs with me, my psyche even seems to have created a cute little allegory in that his profession was that of a firefighter. (think: "Hot", "There to put out the fires, etc....) Oh was he delightful! And of course, as lovely, fanciful, somewhat erotica-oriented dreams will have it, he simply adored me!

So once upon a time something like this could have been a reflection of reality. It could have been something to hope for next week. Today however it is but a reflection of the past, what could have been, what might have been, what sadly, will probably never be. The "adored" part? Oh thats definitely possible. Even the semi-erotica part is definitely possible. The shapely, utterly muscular, "Rawr!" factor? Uh, quite unlikely. The chances of a young 30-ish "dude" of that type becoming remotely attracted to me today would likely indicate some degree of mental instability or insecurity on his part. Possibly some sort of mother fixation even. The chances of finding that emotional/mental communion with that "not yet been kicked around by the world" hopeful, optimistic, self directed, vibrant person in that sort of age bracket is even less likely. Not that I am looking - Really I'm not. Its just not something that comes up too often for me anymore. More on that another time (or in a few paragraphs) though.

If I were to be "looking" today for someone to date, someone to spend time with, someone to have "that" kind of a relationship with, it would just be blatently inappropriate to look towards those folks with the shining, fresh, brand-newness in their appearance and oulook that I find so refreshing, so intriguing, so *attractive* for that matter.

Bottom line: Have you seen a 50 year old man naked lately? I rest my case.

Now, does this mean that the 40-50 somethings are not attractive? No! Not at all! Its just a very different *kind* of attractive. It is very unlikely that one is going to find the 45/50/55 and up male (or female for that matter!) astonishingly attractive simply based upon their appearance. Most of us have such appearance issues by that time such as cellulite, excess poundage, faded greying hair, lost teeth, lost skin texture, facial sag, "character" lines.... in other words, we tend to develop a bit more of the "weathered look". Now this is not in and of itself a *bad thing*! But set side by side next to an April fresh spring rain, something pales a bit - at least at first glance.

Which is somewhat of my point here - We have a task set before us that the 20-somethings do not. We almost *have* to look at least a bit below the surface. We almost *have* to explore who this person is before running off on a beachfront tryst with them. Otherwise we are simply unlikely to *want* to. It is almost as though Nature itself forces us to eventually look at creating depth in our relations. And indeed, this is very important, very worthwhile and to me overall far better than living from the perspective of "Hey baby, you look cute, c'mere!".

But sometimes..... in a wistful moment.... That pure electricity, that unexamined lust, that anonymous attraction...... It's loss is almost heartbreaking in its intensity.

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Tuesday, July 5th, 2005
2:30 am - Kids today.....

Generations have made that statement and for more reasons than generations. Always it appears that the "younger generation" are somehow worse, have it better, and of course are less appreciative than the speaker's generation.

Earlier tonight I very informally watched some fireworks. I say very informally because I did not "go to the fireworks" as in set out to visit a park, a beach, a grassy knoll, or other set location with thousands of others to view pyrotechnics in honor of the US. No, I was kinda sorta going to do that. Sorta. A friend was volunteering at such an event and I'd thought to arrive about midway through the show, say "hello", watch then end of the show and head home. But as I drove that way I passed an area which was having it's own show and theirs had just begun and even from a distance looked quite spectacular. So I headed towards the light. Rather like the proverbial moth to the flame I suppose. Didn't quite know where I was heading, just "over there."

Found a very good spot apparently quite a ways outside of the actual park where they were firing up the show and simply parked and got out to watch. Well, there was a woman leaning on a minivan right nearby and she appeared to also be by herself. I felt a bit silly standing there by myself, she by herself and not at least saying "hello" or something so with a friendly smile in my voice, I asked her, "Are you here by yourself too?" She chuckled and said "No, my daughter is in the car. She has no interest in fireworks. She's inside watching a DVD." Now she didn't specifically say the next part but there was a hefty implication of such there: "And old stupid mamma has to stop and get out to watch silly old fireworks."

We talked for a few moments then. I learned that her daughter is 12 and that she thinks fireworks are dumb and boring. We talked and commented throughout the show on and off. I think we had a good time and I was glad for such nice, comfortable, somewhat kindred companionship for the show.

The woman said that at 12 *she* still liked fireworks. I stated that at 12 and later I very much did too! It seems like it was once normal to like fireworks regardless of age or "coolness status" - fireworks never used to be uncool when I was 12, 15, 18, 20 and up. The woman at one point mentioned Kids Today as losing interest quickly in anything without a joystick attached or the ability to fast forward.

I wonder if it is a speed thing, if the world was somehow slower when we were pre-teens and teens. I don't think so though. At least not for me personally. The area I grew up in was very fast paced and was then, a faster paced locale than where I live today. We didn't have a lot to say about why all this maybe is like this today for Kids Today. Only that it is.

Eventually the show was over and we left to go our separate ways, preferring to leave fast to beat the traffic rush. We agreed that the show was really really good, but I for one, and I suspect she also, left at least a bit saddened because it really does seem that Kids Today are losing interest in fireworks by the time they are 9 or 10. Such a sad thing to lose. Fireworks always were such an awesome thing - and even now, yes, even if it is utterly "uncool" by Kids Today, I still feel them.

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Sunday, July 3rd, 2005
3:13 pm - First post!

Well, I guess someone had to do it! LOL!

So I was thinking this morning about my body while I got dressed in front of the full length mirrors that at times I question my sanity for having up. I remembered that once upon a time people used to say that I had "happy tits" - And somehow I just don't see that anymore. I think they're actually rather "pissed off tits" nowadays.

This of course led me to the age old thoughts about "What do we consider attractive and why?" It seems a given that firm resiliant skin is automatically considered more attractive than slightly toughened, worn, been there/done that kind of skin. And we tend to automatically believe that as Truth. And the closer we get towards "sag", the less attractive we tend to consider ourselves. Not to mention the less sexual we often consider ourselves. And I wonder how we became so conditioned to youth=attractiveness. Oh sure, its all over the televisions and all that and sure, it probably has its roots in the "breeding impulse" but I wonder why we buy into it so easily so often.

I consider myself a little bit lucky in that way. My father and stepmother didn't even meet until they were both in their 40s. She was 40 and he was 45 when they met and married. And they spent 25 years together, never ever hinting that either found the other any less attractive than when they met. I am quite sure they continued an active sex life even until he died at the age of 70. So that gives me a perspective that a lot of people never get the opportunity to have. Yet I find that perspective continually countered by society. It creates a firm need within me to steer by my internal guidance based in my own experiences and perspective even more.

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